Character Descriptions
by Kimn Swenson Gollnick
I keep a notebook where I write down prose I enjoy during my reading time. Here you'll find interesting
characterizations, inluding the use of metaphor. PLEASE NOTE: I don't necessarily endorse
these books, but found these excerpts strong in what they teach me about the technical
aspects in writing about characters. See if you agree, and why you think these might
be effective.
"'Dad!' Valkerie spun in the direction of the moat.
Her father stood across from her, blowing a cloud of steam through his hands."
--Christy Award winner, Oxygen, John B. Olson and Randall Ingermanson (c.2001, Bethany House), p. 110.
"Pappy drove thirty-seven miles per hour. His theory was that every automobile had a speed at which it ran most efficiently,
and through some vaguely defined method he had determined that his old truck should go thirty-seven. My mother said (to me) that it was ridiculous. She also said he and my father had once
fought over whether the truck should go faster. But my father rarely drove it, and if I happened to be riding with him, he would level off at thirty-seven, out of respect for Pappy. My
mother said she suspected he drove much faster when he was alone."
--A Painted House,
John Grisham (c.2001, Dell Books), p. 2.
"On the right, at the Jordan place, we saw a group of Mexicans working in the field near the road. They were stooped at the waist,
their cotton sacks draped behind them, their hands moving deftly through the stalks, tearing off the bolls. Pappy grunted. He didn't like the Jordans because they were Methodists--and Cubs fans. Now that
they already had workers in their fields, there was another reason to dislike them."
--A Painted House,
John Grisham (c.2001, Dell Books), p. 3.
Imagine how a Northerner's speech would sound to a young Southern boy from Arkansas: "...Jimmy Dale introduced his new wife, a thin little thing who looked younger than Tally. Her name was Stacy. She
was from Michigan, and when she spoke her words came through her nose. She clipped them quickly and efficiently, and within seconds she made my skin crawl."
--A Painted House,
John Grisham (c.2001, Dell Books), p. 243.
"Exactly
why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very
fat and hated exercise--unless of course it involved punching somebody.
Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him.
Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast."
--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (c.1997,
Scholastic Press), p.20
(A girl,
Hermione, addresses Harry and his new friend Ron. Here's how the author introduces
her to the two boys:) "'Has anyone seen a toad?
Neville's lost one.' She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy
brown hair, and rather large front teeth."
--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (c.1997,
Scholastic Press), p.105
"Chess
was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron thought
was very good for her."
--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (c.1997,
Scholastic Press), p.217
"Mrs. Strickland...had a way of picking up
odd scraps of information, the way birds pick up bright bits of cord or
yarn." --
The Mystery Book Mystery, Wylly Folk St.John
(c.1976, Viking Press), p.125
"[Elaine Westover had a] slow, smooth voice.
It was a voice like raw silk, smooth but with now and then a small
irregularity, like a heavier thread or slub in the silk, to catch the
attention." --
The Mystery Book Mystery, Wylly Folk St.John
(c.1976, Viking Press), p.192
"...Pammie
and I had an English teacher our sophomore year whom we loved, a large
long-haired woman named Sue who wore purple almost exclusively and
was a friendly hippie sort."
--
Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott (c.1999, Pantheon Books), p.18
"I can
remember exactly how he smelled--of chamois shirts, beer, cigarettes. He
smelled like a tall male, and of hiking, and of books and blue jeans."
--
Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott (c.1999, Pantheon Books), p.122
"Charlie came out thirty seconds after
Susan went back. A small, wiry man with black hair and a gold-capped
tooth in front, he shook [Dynah's] hand."
--
The Atonement Child, Francine Rivers (c.1997, Tyndale), p.238
"Dynah found herself studying Joe as he
turned his attention to the musicians. Odd how a man's appearance could
be deceiving. This gentle, caring man looked street tough with his hair
growing past his shirt collar.... His earlobe was pierced, and on his
hand he had a small tattoo of a cross with a diamond in it. She had
asked him about it once, and he said the diamond was for a robbery he
had committed. When he became a Christian, he had the cross
tattooed over it."
--
The Atonement Child, Francine Rivers (c.1997, Tyndale), p.337
"Abraham
stepped in, a small hyper man of about forty who had public interest
stamped all over him. Jewish, dark beard, horn-rimmed glasses, rumpled
blazer, wrinkled khakis, dirty sneakers, and the weighty aura of one
trying to save the world." --
The Street Lawyer, John Grisham (reprint edition c.1999,
Dell Island Books), p.48
"A pale
gentleman with badly dyed black hair and a clammy handshake appeared and
introduced himself as Bill. He wore a blue lab jacket and shoes with
thick rubber soles. Where do they find people to work in a morgue?"
--
The Street Lawyer, John Grisham (reprint edition c.1999,
Dell Island Books), p.112
"He looked
at her. She was pretty still, with thick hair and soft eyes, and she
moved so gracefully that it almost seemed as though she were gliding.
He'd seen beautiful women before, though, women who caught his eye,
but to his mind they usually lacked the traits he found most desirable.
Traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion,
traits that inspired others to greatness, traits that he aspired to
himself." --
The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks (New York Times Bestseller, c.1996,
Warner Books), p.42-43
"Everyone
knew that Sadie Baxter would come down the hill in her 1958 Plymouth in a
heartbeat--no matter what the weather. Ice, however, was a different story.
'You can't predict it,' she'd say, 'and I dearly love the predictable.' So,
on icy days, she read, played the piano, sorted through the family picture
albums, or called Louella, her former maid and companion, who now lived with
her grandson in Marietta, Georgia."--
At Home in Mitford, Jan Karon (New York Times Bestseller,
c.1994, Penguin Books), p.28
"Tom flipped another page on his notepad and
began to sketch a diagram of the crime scene. He was a tall, lanky man
in his mid-thirties, with a narrow face, alert green eyes, a long nose,
and short, dark brown hair shaved a little closer around the sides of
his head, a little longer on top." --
The Strand: A Novel, Ellen Vaughn (c.1997, Word Books), p. 29
"If you're going to be a pain in the
neck, it helps to be a beautiful one--though, of course, the opposite
is true, too. From very personal experience, Neely knew that if
you're not beautiful you'd better not be a nuisance--not if you know
what's good for you."--
The Trespassers, Zilpha Keatley Snyder (c.1995), p.11
"Snape
finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black
like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth. They were cold and
empty and made you think of dark tunnels."
--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (c.1997,
Scholastic Press), p.136
"[Mr. Dursley]
hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things,
which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination."
--Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling (c.1997,
Scholastic Press), p.5
"The homeless
are close to the streets, to the pavement, the curbs and gutters, the concrete,
the litter, the sewer lids and fire hydrants and wastebaskets and bus stops
and store-fronts. They move slowly over familiar terrain, day after day,
stopping to talk to each other because time means little, stopping to watch
a stalled car in traffic, a new drug dealer on a corner, a strange face on
their turf. They sit on their sidewalks hidden under hats and caps and
behind drugstore sunshades, and like sentries they observe every movement.
They hear the sounds of the street, they absorb the odors of diesel from city
buses and fried grease from cheap diners. The same cab passes twice in an
hour, and they know it. A gun is fired in the distance, and they know
where it came from. A fine auto with Virginia or Maryland plates is parked
at the curb, they'll watch it until it leaves.
A cop with no uniform waits in a car with
no markings, and they see it."
--
The Street Lawyer, John Grisham (reprint edition c.1999,
Dell Island Books), p.298-299
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